It can, but it would have to defeat my faith that there is a
reason for not sinking to the lows. It’s a self-respect issue, and one of honor.
One case in my life would be some people claiming that I am
easy. Long story short, it turned out to be sour grapes inspired by lies from
some vicious people in my neighborhood. There are ugly-minded folks in my
neighborhood who like to use this particular set of lies on women from families
they decided to hate. It nearly got my aunt attacked while she lived in this unpleasant
place! There have been men who tried to get me to swoon over them so they could
make fun of me for it. Apparently, it spoils the game when I do not react. (one
pair of arrogant goofs actually panicked when they realized that I was more
interested in studying for an exam) Their attitudes and body language revealed their hostile intentions.
Sometimes, it’s hard not to look at the accusations and
think “I didn’t even DO any of this stuff. I didn’t even have the “fun” that
supposedly goes with it.” However, that line of thought vanishes when the costs
of living down to the lies come to mind! The price would be having my heart
trashed, being reliant on people who do not care about me, and not being any better
than the lies. This is why the tricks do not work. The price is just too high.
I found out later that some of these jerks around here
insisted that I was gay because I did not play along. They clearly do not understand
that emotional abuse is a huge turn off. It did not help them that they were
not serious, but wanting to hurt someone they did not know on a slanderer’s
say-so. These men did not judge based on their own observations (I don’t flirt
and do not dress provocatively), but instead they acted on self-contradictory hearsay.
Such people do not appeal to me. Qualities that catch my eye
include idealism, intelligence, courtesy, erudition, confidence, strong-mindedness,
kindness, honesty, and a strong love of God. Good looks are a plus, but not
required. Viciousness does not coincide with most of these attributes.
Also, it takes time for me to realize that someone really
does like me. All of those times someone tried to make a fool out of me made an
impression.
However, there are many blessings to this path. I am free to
truly observe and understand because I am at a distance. I am closer to my
family than I might otherwise be. I can have any interest I want, as long as it
is ethical and legal. I still have my self-respect, knowing that I did not live
down to the accusations.
The truth is not defined by slander from people who do not
know me. I do not require the approval of manipulative people to know who I am.
