August 31, 2013

image courtesy of Our Joke's, Your Joke's and My Joke



It can, but it would have to defeat my faith that there is a reason for not sinking to the lows. It’s a self-respect issue, and one of honor.
One case in my life would be some people claiming that I am easy. Long story short, it turned out to be sour grapes inspired by lies from some vicious people in my neighborhood. There are ugly-minded folks in my neighborhood who like to use this particular set of lies on women from families they decided to hate. It nearly got my aunt attacked while she lived in this unpleasant place! There have been men who tried to get me to swoon over them so they could make fun of me for it. Apparently, it spoils the game when I do not react. (one pair of arrogant goofs actually panicked when they realized that I was more interested in studying for an exam) Their attitudes and body language revealed their hostile intentions.  
Sometimes, it’s hard not to look at the accusations and think “I didn’t even DO any of this stuff. I didn’t even have the “fun” that supposedly goes with it.” However, that line of thought vanishes when the costs of living down to the lies come to mind! The price would be having my heart trashed, being reliant on people who do not care about me, and not being any better than the lies. This is why the tricks do not work.  The price is just too high.
I found out later that some of these jerks around here insisted that I was gay because I did not play along. They clearly do not understand that emotional abuse is a huge turn off. It did not help them that they were not serious, but wanting to hurt someone they did not know on a slanderer’s say-so. These men did not judge based on their own observations (I don’t flirt and do not dress provocatively), but instead they acted on self-contradictory hearsay.
Such people do not appeal to me. Qualities that catch my eye include idealism, intelligence, courtesy, erudition, confidence, strong-mindedness, kindness, honesty, and a strong love of God. Good looks are a plus, but not required. Viciousness does not coincide with most of these attributes.
Also, it takes time for me to realize that someone really does like me. All of those times someone tried to make a fool out of me made an impression.
However, there are many blessings to this path. I am free to truly observe and understand because I am at a distance. I am closer to my family than I might otherwise be. I can have any interest I want, as long as it is ethical and legal. I still have my self-respect, knowing that I did not live down to the accusations.
The truth is not defined by slander from people who do not know me. I do not require the approval of manipulative people to know who I am.